Singleness

I’ll be honest, being single isn’t always easy and I’ve had my fair share of being single in different periods of my life since my teenage years. When I sat down to write this, I felt prompted to reflect on my personal experience and my ultimate realisation of how faithful Jesus has been, guiding me and comforting me through this time. Seasons of singleness can look so different for everyone, but I have come to a conclusion that no matter where you are at in your life, Jesus is all you need.

Satisfaction in Jesus

There was certainly a time in my singleness a few years ago when I didn’t think I could possibly manage being by myself. I thought I wouldn’t be truly happy or content unless I was in a relationship. Before I knew our loving God, the only way I thought I could find “happiness” was by finding fulfilment in different areas of my life since I wasn’t in a relationship. Whether that be partying, drinking or letting myself become influenced by others, it was temporary and left me feeling empty and unfulfilled. It didn’t allow for finding the true healing or contentment in my heart that I was longing for. It wasn’t until I came to know Jesus and experience a personal relationship with Him that I recognised that true fulfilment comes from Him. And don’t get me wrong, there’s no doubt that you can feel lonely when you are single. There can be an emptiness. However, being in a relationship doesn’t fill this emptiness, as it is only God that can truly fill this emptiness. Many people think that we may not be fully content or “happy” until we are in a relationship but finding true contentment in my life as a single person has been purely through God. One of the most profound aspects of my faith journey has been learning to find my identity and worth in God rather than in my relationship status. Psalm 139:14 reminds me that I am “fearfully and wonderfully made” by a God who loves me unconditionally. This truth gave me the confidence to embrace my singleness as a gift and help me recognise that I am not defined by my relationship status.

Discovering Purpose in our Singleness

While the world often portrays singleness as a season of waiting or incompleteness, I’ve come to see it as a time of incredible opportunity and purpose. At times this was difficult to recognise and I would often find myself crying out to God about what my purpose was during this time. But being fervent in prayer and continually seeking Him, I was able to realise that I was exactly where God wanted me to be and I had the perfect opportunity to be in a season of closeness with Him, a season of sole dependence on Him. I came to realise that I was in this single season for a reason. And instead of praying myself out of the season, I was able to embrace it, really lean into Him and continue building a foundation on Him knowing that no matter what comes my way I will always have God. Matthew 6:33 reminds us to, “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you”. This verse can guide us to prioritize seeking and focusing on our relationship with God above all else, trusting that He will provide for our needs and guide us through every season of life. Embracing this truth allowed me to fully embrace my single season, knowing that God had a purpose for it. Instead of viewing it as a time of waiting, I saw it as a time of preparation and growth in my faith. In the meantime, my other advice is to create a life that is so great that when somebody comes along, it’s just a bonus. Being single doesn’t have to be a physical time of waiting around for God to bring us our person. We can lean into him for guidance, but we can also do things that bring us joy. This may look different for everyone but for me, I used this time to make friends who would lead me closer towards God, spent time with my family, I went travelling, took up new hobbies, focused on my passions and so much more. Most importantly, I turned to God and spent a lot of time in scripture because I knew it was only truly through him that I would find true contentment and joy. If you’re on this journey of faith and singleness, know that you can be filled with hope and expectation for what God has in store for you. Trust that He has a plan and purpose for your life, and be committed to following Him wholeheartedly, wherever He may lead.

Overcoming Deceit from the Enemy
Community also played a vital role in my journey of faith of singleness. Surrounding myself with like-minded people who share similar values and beliefs has provided me with encouragement, support and accountability. Though I will say that the enemy attempted to feed me lies in my singleness, particularly with a lot of people I knew already being in relationships. Like I’ve mentioned, being single isn’t always easy and as it can be a vulnerable time, the enemy can really attempt to take advantage of this. There have been times where I had wondered why I was single. Why were all my friends in relationships or married already and I wasn’t? Was I not good enough? Or worthy enough? Would I be single forever? These are thoughts that I would let my mind be consumed with, and I would almost believe them too. But I came to learn that God’s love and strength is infinitely greater than any lies the enemy tries to plant. In 1 Peter 5:8-9, it says that “Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.” This verse reminds us to be vigilant and strong in our faith, resisting the lies and attacks of the enemy. It emphasizes the importance of standing firm in God’s truth and finding strength in the community of believers who face similar challenges. Be immersed in community with like-minded believers who can lead you closer to Him, seek after Him and be reminded of the truth that is found in God’s word. I found doing these things to be instrumental in combating these lies and finding peace and contentment in this season.

As I conclude, I’m reminded that my journey with God doesn’t end here. Just as I was seeking His guidance and strength in my season of singleness, I continue to seek Him when I embark on a new relationship. My relationship status may change, but my dependence on God remains constant. All in all, I am confident in saying that I truly found the key to contentment. We cannot find true happiness or fulfillment in a relationship, as it is only first by seeking God’s Kingdom. As it says in Proverbs 3:5-6, “trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not to your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths”.