Freedom

When asked to write a Her time blog, my first reaction was “what do I have to say that is worthwhile to anyone else?” And with that thought, I realised the basis of what I can write about.

Freedom!

What does this have to do with freedom? Well, I know I’m among friends who can relate to living with the constant critical inner voice that women often experience. Women tend to think a lot and deeply. And unfortunately, often these thoughts can be very self-critical.

A few years ago, I was aware of my inner critical voice getting louder by the day. I had moved across the country to a place where I knew no one. I was recovering from being through the longest lockdown in the world where I felt disconnected from friends, community and church. I hadn’t had the chance to step into a church for over 18 months which was difficult for a weekly attender. The usual communities I had been a part of had been closed off; work friends, mum friends, family gatherings, friendship groups; all of them I had been unable to see much of. And to top it off, I was recovering from burnout and adrenal fatigue that completely changed my world.

I was not in good shape but put on a brave face in order to build new friendships and start our life in the west. However, my mind was constantly dominated by thoughts of worry; worrying about what others think of me and what my worth is to the people I meet. Did I speak too much, did I say the wrong thing, am I not fitting in, do people even like hanging out with me, do they call me a friend, what worth am I to the lives of people I meet. The space in my mind that this was taking up was becoming consuming and I was living captured by my critical inner voice.

I became involved in a women’s crew at Eastlake where we went through a series called ‘Get Out of Your Head’ by Jennie Allen and I’ll always be thankful for the wonderful woman who led this crew. This was the turning point I needed to realise how my inner critical voice was limiting me from experiencing a life of freedom in God. I started recognising the lies being told and the unhealthy beliefs and how these were limiting my growth into the person God designed me to be. Through the series, God showed me the weapons he has made available to us to take a hold of and fight things not of him.

It was around this time I stepped into serving at church. This step of obedience gave God the opening to continue his transformation in me. You may have seen me around Eastlake and I might have met you at the connect new-comers desk in the foyer. I’ll let you in on a little secret. I’m an introvert and it’s not natural for me to spark up conversations with anybody and everybody. Some days I really struggle to find the energy and courage to do this. Last year, I almost gave it up thinking it was just not for me and I’m not the right fit for this. But God had other plans. Through serving in the Church, God continued to free me from the inner critical voice that can be so limiting and he has been equipping me and taking me to a place I had never thought was possible. Leaning into serving God’s Kingdom has allowed God to grow and use me in ways that I wasn’t expecting, not always natural and ways I never thought I could be used for.

The inner critic has not disappeared completely, but it’s much quieter. My focus is on Gods truths, and I can recognise and use the tools God gave me to take captive the untruths. I can shift my focus onto how God sees me and know my worth in him. John 8:36  says ‘If the son sets you free, you will be free indeed’. We know that our King Jesus has already set us free when he died on the cross and we just need to step into that freedom.

So, I encourage you to prayerfully consider what may be holding you back from being all God has designed you for? Do you want to experience the freedom to be who God created you to be?

PS. For those who haven’t heard of Jennie Allen and are curious of her teaching, please come chat to me about it. I would love to do another study of hers with other women looking to embark on the journey together to be transformed by God.

Love Annelise x